Managing Your Emotions in the Workplace: What They Don't Teach You in Business School

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The bloke sitting across from me in the meeting was red as a beetroot, veins popping, literally shaking with rage because someone had questioned his quarterly projections. That was twelve years ago, and watching him implode taught me more about workplace emotional management than any Harvard Business Review article ever could.

Here's the thing nobody wants to admit: emotions aren't the enemy at work. They're just poorly managed houseguests that everyone pretends aren't there.

The Emotional Elephant in Every Boardroom

After running teams across Brisbane, Melbourne, and Perth for the better part of two decades, I've seen emotional meltdowns that would make reality TV producers jealous. The finance director who threw a stapler. The HR manager who cried during every performance review. The CEO who passive-aggressively rearranged seating charts like a vindictive wedding planner.

Yet somehow, we're all supposed to be these emotionless robots the moment we swipe our access cards.

That's complete garbage.

The most successful leaders I know aren't emotional voids—they're emotional ninjas. They feel everything but express it strategically. There's a massive difference, and it's costing Australian businesses millions in lost productivity because we refuse to acknowledge it.

I learned this the hard way during my stint at a major consulting firm in Sydney. Spent three months trying to be the "cool, collected professional" while internally combusting over a project that was going sideways faster than a shopping trolley with a wonky wheel. The result? Stress-induced insomnia, a team that walked on eggshells around me, and ultimately a project failure that could've been avoided if I'd just admitted I was overwhelmed and asked for help.

Vulnerability isn't weakness. It's strategy.

The Four Emotional States That Rule Your Workplace

Every workplace operates on four primary emotional frequencies, whether people admit it or not:

Fear. Usually disguised as "risk assessment" or "being cautious." It's why that brilliant marketing campaign never gets approved and why innovation dies in committee meetings.

Frustration. The most common emotion in any office, masquerading as "constructive feedback" or "process improvement suggestions."

Excitement. Rare but powerful. When it shows up authentically, projects get completed ahead of schedule and people volunteer for extra work.

Apathy. The workplace killer. When your team stops caring, you're not managing a business—you're running a very expensive day care centre for adults.

The trick isn't eliminating these emotions. It's recognising which one is driving your decisions and whether that's actually helpful.

I once worked with a manufacturing team in Adelaide where the supervisor was clearly operating from a place of fear. Every decision was about avoiding problems rather than creating opportunities. Production was steady but uninspired. We spent one afternoon just talking about what he was actually worried about—turned out it was job security after seeing three colleagues made redundant the previous year.

Once we addressed that elephant, production increased by 23% over six months. Not because we changed processes, but because we changed the emotional undercurrent.

The Authenticity Trap

Here's where most emotional intelligence training goes wrong: it tells you to be "authentic" without defining what that actually means in a professional context.

Authentic doesn't mean sharing your divorce details during the Monday morning standup. It doesn't mean crying during budget reviews or throwing tantrums when projects get delayed.

Authentic means owning your emotional state without making it everyone else's problem.

When I'm frustrated, I say so. "I'm feeling frustrated about these delays, so I'm going to need five minutes to think through options before we continue." When I'm excited about a project, I share that energy without expecting everyone to match it. When I'm worried about a client relationship, I discuss the specific concerns rather than creating generalised anxiety.

The difference is taking responsibility for your emotions rather than expecting others to manage them for you.

The Melbourne Coffee Shop Revelation

Three years ago, I was grabbing my usual flat white in Melbourne's CBD when I overheard two executives from a financial services company discussing their "difficult" team member. According to them, this person was "too emotional" and "unprofessional" because they'd raised concerns about unrealistic deadlines during a team meeting.

I couldn't help myself. I asked what exactly made those concerns "emotional" rather than "logical."

Turns out, the team member had used phrases like "this feels impossible" and "I'm worried we'll burn out the junior staff." They'd expressed legitimate concerns using emotional language, and the leadership team had dismissed the entire message because of the delivery method.

That's not emotional intelligence. That's emotional ignorance.

Smart leaders translate emotional language into operational language. "This feels impossible" becomes "Let's review the resource allocation." "I'm worried about burnout" becomes "What's our contingency plan if team capacity becomes an issue?"

You don't dismiss the emotion—you decode it.

The Permission Structure Problem

Most Australian workplaces operate under an unspoken emotional permission structure that looks something like this:

• Frustration: Acceptable if directed at external suppliers or competitors
• Excitement: Acceptable if tied to revenue or efficiency gains
• Worry: Acceptable if framed as "risk management"
• Sadness: Never acceptable except for company-wide tragedies
• Anger: Only acceptable if you're senior enough and it's "passionate commitment to excellence"

This is insane.

These arbitrary rules force people to perform emotional contortions that would impress Cirque du Soleil. The marketing coordinator who can't admit they're overwhelmed because it might look like they can't handle the workload. The project manager who can't express excitement about a creative solution because it's "not data-driven enough." The finance director who can't acknowledge sadness about laying off staff because it's "just business."

We're creating emotional constipation on an industrial scale.

The most effective teams I've worked with establish clear emotional permission structures. Everyone knows what emotions are acceptable to express, how to express them constructively, and what support is available when emotions become overwhelming.

The Practical Stuff Nobody Talks About

Managing workplace emotions isn't about meditation apps or mindfulness seminars (though those can help). It's about creating systems that acknowledge emotional realities rather than pretending they don't exist.

Morning emotional check-ins. Not touchy-feely therapy sessions, but quick acknowledgments of where people's heads are at. "I'm feeling scattered this morning, so I'll need extra focus time for the client presentation." "I'm energised about the new project but worried about the timeline."

Emotional escalation protocols. What happens when someone hits their emotional limit? In most workplaces, they just suffer in silence until they explode, quit, or burn out. Smart teams have clear processes: who do you talk to, how do you get temporary relief, what support is available?

Permission to be human. Explicit acknowledgment that people have emotional responses to work situations, and that's normal. The goal isn't to eliminate emotions but to channel them productively.

I worked with a small business in Perth where the owner implemented "emotional honesty Fridays." Every Friday afternoon, team members could share one thing that was frustrating them and one thing they were excited about. No solutions required, no judgment allowed—just acknowledgment.

Sounds simple, right? But it transformed their workplace culture because people stopped pretending to be robots and started treating each other like humans with feelings.

The Bottom Line

After fifteen years of watching brilliant people sabotage themselves because they couldn't manage their emotional responses at work, I'm convinced this is the most undervalued skill in Australian business.

You don't need to become an emotional exhibitionist. You don't need group therapy sessions during lunch breaks. You just need to acknowledge that emotions exist, they affect decision-making and productivity, and managing them intelligently is a competitive advantage.

The companies figuring this out are attracting better talent, reducing turnover, and creating more innovative solutions. The ones still pretending emotions don't exist in professional settings are losing their best people to organisations that treat them like complete human beings.

Your choice.

But if you're still convinced that emotions have no place in business, I'd love to see you negotiate your next major contract without feeling anything. Good luck with that.